Another Super Favorite
Take Time To Make Time
Friendship is made of integrity, compassion, honesty, communication, time and presence, and love is made of friendship.
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Osho copied me? Kewl!
Projecting Pigeons Perching
Great minds...
Point is just because it is a thing that the mind does is not a reason to succumb to it. Every time I want chocolate I don't go eat it, every time I feel elation I don't dance in the street, every time I feel fear I don't hide in the closet, every time I see an attractive guy I don't fantasize about him or ask him out, every time I feel anger I don't punch someone.
Every time my feelings change because I had a hard day, because I am tired, because I am happy, because I am annoyed, I don't make someone else pay the price for it. When I feel annoyed, it is ME causing the feeling, not the person I happen to be thinking about, or the person who happens to be in the room. Today I am in a good mood and have a great outlook, and so I see others in a positive light; tomorrow something may trigger a dark mood, (especially for those who have experienced pain in their lifetimes), and I may not see others so positively. I may even see them darkly, if my mood is dark enough. My perception has changed, not the person I am looking at. That is the point; I changed, not the other person, the other person is as beautiful as they were when I was in a good mood. It is MY VIEW that has changed, not them. One day I treat them well, because I feel good, the next day I treat them like crap, because I feel crappy, that's not fair and that's not how I want to be treated. And then expect them not to get upset or confused by my unpredictable behavior.
There was a beautiful feral cat in my neighborhood. Some days I was in a caring mood, and I fed the cat, talked to it, tried to get it to come to me. I watched as it moved regally and stealthily through the wilds of the neighborhood, muscles rippling, the sun filtering through its richly colored coat. Other days I was busy and overwhelmed, and not feeling so caring. On these days I still fed the cat, but I did not make a fuss over it, and I seemed to notice the scruffiness more and the gorgeous coat less. The thing is, no matter what mood I was in, the cat remained the same. It was a wild calico cat who did not trust humans. It was beautiful, and dangerous. Just because I was in a loving mood did not change the cat's feralness, and just because I was in a bad mood did not change the cat's beauty. My perception changed every day, but I still fed the cat. And I was aware that, even in my darkest moods, the cat was important to me. When I could not see its tiger-spirit, I knew it was because I was the one lacking that day.
If I change my behavior toward another every time my mood dictates, I am at the very least being a pain in the neck, at the worst downright abusive. And on top of that, do I expect the other to deal with my unpredictable behavior toward them with benevolent, god-like understanding, when I only show them whatever I feel like showing them from moment to moment?
Being too tired to keep plans with someone is about me, not them. It's my responsibility as a normal courteous human being to call the person, tell them I am tired, and offer to make amends, or to change plans, like come over and watch a DVD instead of going hiking. If something better to do comes up and I already have plans with someone else, I don't stand the original person up, that would be arrogant and unseemly. (I might if I had some kind of agenda though, to show dominance, or act out underlying anger issues from my own past..) I would actually tell the person of the other thing to do, invite them, see if they want to change plans. The other person arranged their schedule to accommodate me. Their time is just as important as mine. To think otherwise is seriously misguided, seriously stuck-up. If I am changing plans, I am the one who is inconveniencing them , and if they express disappointment I am certainly not going to blame them, I just screwed up their plans! At the very LEAST I owe them an apology, even if the reason I had to change plans was because of some gigantic crisis that was beyond my control. My reason has no bearing on the fact that I changed their plans by changing mine. They could have done something else, with someone else, instead of having to readjust everything at the last minute AND feeling disappointment. It is common courtesy, and civil behavior, not noble heroics.
What is the point of understanding the way the mind works if there is no intent to do something with the information?
Human Nature is not an excuse. It is something every one of us has to struggle with, not one is above and beyond it. It is a thing that we all overcome in order to maintain civility. So if one wants other people to show courtesy, consideration, and understanding, they would do well to show it toward others first. I want to make other people's lives better for knowing me, not cause them unnecessary sadness.
Great minds...
Point is just because it is a thing that the mind does is not a reason to succumb to it. Every time I want chocolate I don't go eat it, every time I feel elation I don't dance in the street, every time I feel fear I don't hide in the closet, every time I see an attractive guy I don't fantasize about him or ask him out, every time I feel anger I don't punch someone.
Every time my feelings change because I had a hard day, because I am tired, because I am happy, because I am annoyed, I don't make someone else pay the price for it. When I feel annoyed, it is ME causing the feeling, not the person I happen to be thinking about, or the person who happens to be in the room. Today I am in a good mood and have a great outlook, and so I see others in a positive light; tomorrow something may trigger a dark mood, (especially for those who have experienced pain in their lifetimes), and I may not see others so positively. I may even see them darkly, if my mood is dark enough. My perception has changed, not the person I am looking at. That is the point; I changed, not the other person, the other person is as beautiful as they were when I was in a good mood. It is MY VIEW that has changed, not them. One day I treat them well, because I feel good, the next day I treat them like crap, because I feel crappy, that's not fair and that's not how I want to be treated. And then expect them not to get upset or confused by my unpredictable behavior.
There was a beautiful feral cat in my neighborhood. Some days I was in a caring mood, and I fed the cat, talked to it, tried to get it to come to me. I watched as it moved regally and stealthily through the wilds of the neighborhood, muscles rippling, the sun filtering through its richly colored coat. Other days I was busy and overwhelmed, and not feeling so caring. On these days I still fed the cat, but I did not make a fuss over it, and I seemed to notice the scruffiness more and the gorgeous coat less. The thing is, no matter what mood I was in, the cat remained the same. It was a wild calico cat who did not trust humans. It was beautiful, and dangerous. Just because I was in a loving mood did not change the cat's feralness, and just because I was in a bad mood did not change the cat's beauty. My perception changed every day, but I still fed the cat. And I was aware that, even in my darkest moods, the cat was important to me. When I could not see its tiger-spirit, I knew it was because I was the one lacking that day.
If I change my behavior toward another every time my mood dictates, I am at the very least being a pain in the neck, at the worst downright abusive. And on top of that, do I expect the other to deal with my unpredictable behavior toward them with benevolent, god-like understanding, when I only show them whatever I feel like showing them from moment to moment?
Being too tired to keep plans with someone is about me, not them. It's my responsibility as a normal courteous human being to call the person, tell them I am tired, and offer to make amends, or to change plans, like come over and watch a DVD instead of going hiking. If something better to do comes up and I already have plans with someone else, I don't stand the original person up, that would be arrogant and unseemly. (I might if I had some kind of agenda though, to show dominance, or act out underlying anger issues from my own past..) I would actually tell the person of the other thing to do, invite them, see if they want to change plans. The other person arranged their schedule to accommodate me. Their time is just as important as mine. To think otherwise is seriously misguided, seriously stuck-up. If I am changing plans, I am the one who is inconveniencing them , and if they express disappointment I am certainly not going to blame them, I just screwed up their plans! At the very LEAST I owe them an apology, even if the reason I had to change plans was because of some gigantic crisis that was beyond my control. My reason has no bearing on the fact that I changed their plans by changing mine. They could have done something else, with someone else, instead of having to readjust everything at the last minute AND feeling disappointment. It is common courtesy, and civil behavior, not noble heroics.
What is the point of understanding the way the mind works if there is no intent to do something with the information?
Human Nature is not an excuse. It is something every one of us has to struggle with, not one is above and beyond it. It is a thing that we all overcome in order to maintain civility. So if one wants other people to show courtesy, consideration, and understanding, they would do well to show it toward others first. I want to make other people's lives better for knowing me, not cause them unnecessary sadness.
Bored
To Tears With Drama Kings And Queens
Blow Off Masters And Mistresses
Rockstars And Divas
Macho Boys And Supermodel Girls
Supermodel Boys And Macho Girls
Oppositional Poseur Intellectuals
Anti-Racist Racists
Clueless Radicals
Religiously Fervent Frothing Anti-Religionists
Mighty Prophets Who Live On Ivory Mountaintops In Their Mind's Sky
Finger Pointers That Only Point Outward and Not Simultaneously Inward
Bored To Tears
If Someone Falls Help Them Up, Don't Stand There And Tell Them Why They Fell, Especially Since You Will Be Next. And You Can Hope That The One You Stood There Judging With Your Arms Folded Isn't The Only One Around To Help You Back Up.
When Someone Is Happy Be Happy For Them, With Them.
When Someone Says Something Or Writes Something, Listen, Read, Don't Automatically Oppose Them.
When Someone Is Kind Or Likes You, It Doesn't Mean That They Are Lesser Than You, But It Could Mean That They Are Kinder, Stronger, And More Understanding Than You.
When Someone Is Doing Something, Assume They CAN Do It And Can Do It Well, Don't LOOK For Them To "Need Your Help" (eye roll).
When Someone Asks For Help, Help Them, Don't Take Over As If You Are Some Kind Of Hero.
If Someone Is A Different Gender Than You, It Does Not Mean That They Don't "Get" What You "Get" (Get Over Yourself).
When Someone Asks You A Question, Just Answer The Question, Don't Give Them The History Of The World As If You Are A Great Sage And They Are An Idiot.
When Someone Loves You, You Are Lucky.
If You Are Taking This As A Personal Attack And You Feel Compelled To Defend Yourself,
Note That Your Name Was Never Mentioned. You Are The One Identifying Yourself With This Statement. This Is Directed At No One. But If You Feel Compelled To Identify Yourself As One Of The Above, By All Means You Are Welcome To Do So.
Please Have A Wonderful, Happy Day. Or Don't.
His Hearth Is Clear
Creatures of Fire, this charge I give
No evil in my presence live
No phantom, spook, nor spell may stay
About this place not night nor day
Hear my word addressed to thee...
This is my will, so mote it be.
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